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Ruda Wakening
18th August 2003, 03:37 PM
Swiped from the Collingwood board ....



M E M O:

Denis Pagan has announced that every player on the senior list at Carlton
is up for trade.



For interested buyers here is a short summary of each player's current
status prepared by the Carlton Football Department:


Matthew Allan - Currently the best ruckman at the club, which is like being
the prettiest woman in Iraq.



Callan Beasy - At this rate will bring up his 100th game in 2037.



Simon Beaumont - I think he once had a good half against someone.



Blake Campbell - I don't know enough about footy to know about him.



Scott Camporeale - Wants out and who could blame him.



Cameron Croad - Recruited under the spastic brother rule.



Justin Davies - Attempted to escape mid-season but only made it as far as
Shepparton before he was caught.



Andrew Eccles - Traded for Kris Massie. Game, set, match. - Adelaide.



Brendan Fevola - Very reliable, strong character. Carlton plan to build a
team around him.



Brad Fisher - Promising forward with bright future if he doesn't get
trampled by Lance.



Simon Fletcher - Hopes to finish his career back with Geelong Reserves if
his form lifts.



Anthony Franchina - Back in the ones. He hasn't improved, everyone else
has got worse.



Scott Freeborn - Supposed to be de-listed in 2001 but the paperwork got
lost.



Barnaby French - Great catching skills, could end up in the Bangladeshi
slip cordon.



Adrian Hickmott - So much happier now.



Ryan Houlihan - One of Carlton's toughest, now doesn't that say something.



Darren Hulme - Unhappy and uncontracted.



Anthony Koutoufides - His knee is as pretty as his wife.



Matthew Lappin - Hates Pagan Loves Beer



Luke Livingston - Will inherit Mick Martyn's position, as League's most
unskilled player.



The Mighty M's - Manton, Martyn, Mathews, McKernan, Merrington, Murphy and
McKenzie - All to be de-listed.



Andrew McKay - In career best form or is it just an illusion? Check the
meaning of contrast to find the answer.



Karl Norman - Like the flowering hibiscus he was born, flourished and faded
all in a single day.



Jim Plunkett - One of the great names in NFL, not so great in the AFL.



Ian Prendergast - Great aerobic capacity which will come in handy chasing
opponents over the next few years.



Brett Ratten - See Adrian Hickmott.



Kade Simpson - "I think I may have over estimated this Simpson fellow" -
Montgomery C. Burns, Dental Plan episode.



Trent Sporn - They say he's great, I say how do you know?



Bret Thornton - I'm confused, who's better him or Wiggins.



Simon Wiggins - I'm confused, who's better him or Thornton.



Jarrad Waite - Courageous lad. Has had to overcome the personal tragedy of
playing for Carlton.



Lance Whitnall - Carlton fans love him and there'll be more of him to love
in 2004. And a lot more in 2005.



Laurence Angwin - My client pleads not guilty Your Honour.



Tom Hedge - Who??



Jon McCormick - Good young lad, should get out while he can.



Sean O'Keefe - Has done enough to get de-listed and re-drafted again.



Michael Stinear - No idea who he is but he must still be a chance to win
the Carlton B&F this year.

Destructive
18th August 2003, 05:04 PM
:D :D :D

swan_song
19th August 2003, 11:48 AM
Ruda.....that is great but I think u've actually been too kind on a few of them!!! And is Mrs Kooda....Kouta....Kooda....well, u know who I mean.....is she that bad a looker????