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SWANSBEST
21st March 2003, 09:29 PM
AFL
Umpires Consider New Snot Rule
By The Footy Fan
Wednesday, March 19, 2003

In the wake of the controversial ?Buckley Blood Rule? incident last season which saw Collingwood?s Nathan Buckley wipe blood onto the jumper of his Brisbane Bears opponent in an attempt to also get him removed from the field, Player Association Representative, Andy Demetriou has presented a submission to the AFL Rules Committee to consider implementing a Snot Rule.

It is believed that the submission is the result of a meeting during the off-season of a number of high-profile players from blue-ribbon Melbourne and interstate clubs.

In a statement to the press today group spokesperson and retired Carlton forward and fashion model Earl Spalding said. ?Week in, week out respectable well-groomed players who take pride in their attention to personal cleanliness and hygiene both on and off the field rub shoulders with scruffy, smelly unshaved (and most of the time) unwashed savages from the Western Suburbs and inner north of Melbourne.?

?If that?s not enough, they are then forced to travel interstate for the sake of the AFL giving pretenders from Fremantle and Port Adelaide a chance to appear on television and call themselves footballers only to have to stand side by side with a bunch of dockside labourers.?

Spalding then went on to say that the AFL?s focus on the blood rule had overlooked the more pervasive issue of undesirable bodily fluids hurled (occasionally with great gusto) from the noses of uncouth and unrefined amateurs.

The proposal would see players sent from the field for blowing or wiping their nose on any part of their body or jumper. Umpires would also be put on notice to watch for players trying to disguise the occasional snot swipe by splashing their faces with water and then pretending to wipe them dry. A designated snot umpire would be deployed to study video evidence after the game. They would also investigate any reports made by field umpires on anything suspicious they observe during the game.

Spalding says one of the biggest supporters of the proposed rule is Sydney coach Paul Roos whose enthusiasm springs from the hope that it may encourage some more of his players to chase and tackle hard. ?I think it?s a great idea and it gives teams like the Swans a great opportunity to be more competitive. Hopefully the guys will be a bit more willing in the one-on-one battles if they know their opponents are observing higher levels of hygiene. For us, it could mean the difference between finishing 9th and finishing 11th.?

Adelaide coach Gary Ayres and a number of the Crows players have also come out in support of the new rule although absent amongst them was star new recruit Wayne Carey. When The Footy Fan expressed surprise, Wayne shrugged and observed that he wasn?t averse to exchanging bodily fluids with strangers.
http://www.thebladder.com.au/content/contribution/default.asp?ContributionType=1&fullreport=2067

Jimmy C
21st March 2003, 10:12 PM
Great stuff. Does this mean that we will also see the introduction of a sweat rule? How about a dandruff rule? Or, a wash your hands after peeing rule?