Ha! I would love to Auntie, but not sure I can make it up to Sydney for it!
Ha! I would love to Auntie, but not sure I can make it up to Sydney for it!
AFL Round 17 ? Sydney v Carlton: Musings of a Green Thumb
?All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.? ~Indian Proverb
For the first time in my life, I am about to become a gardener. Two years in the making, the backyard, consisting mostly of weeds, rocks and dirt, is about to see some serious action. Three veggie patches need to be built. The great Peter Cundell is on our local Hobartian ABC radio and we have eighteen sleepers, two shovels, a mattock and a pick. The sun is out, the air is crisp, and there?s no time for the usual morning espresso. Time to get to work. There is nothin? quite like buildin?, barrowin? and diggin? to gain a sense of accomplishment. Getting down and dirty amongst the great outdoors is proving to be a surprisingly enjoyable Saturday experience. As the power drills and circular saws screech with anger, my mind wanders to the big match tonight. The Swans will be getting down and dirty at the SCG against a famous old foe led by a coach who has masterminded a plethora of victories against our club. I reckon Mick likes to garden.
The Swans have sown their seeds of development ever since the Horse took over as coach, and are now reaping the benefits. The structure of the club is allowing a string of young debutants to inject themselves into the side and have an effect from Game One. Today, it is Dean Towers? turn. An emergency eight times, the Ballarat junior has surely earned his spot. The Enemy have been a fascinating case study this year. A talented list, a master tactician and limited results. I feel the frustration of their loyal supporters, through my brother, who was seduced by the appeal of one of the most famous mascots of them all, ?Captain Blue?, when we were kids. Great players such as Williams, Kernahan, Kouta and Bradley probably helped make that decision as well. As I stand back and admire my first attempt at precision carpentry, I feel that a well earned beverage is in order and I switch on the free-to-air pre-game coverage.
Brian Taylor is a dead-set pumpkin. A disgraceful homophobic slur on national television demonstrates this. It never ceases to amaze, that in this era of diversity and inclusion, dinosaurs such as BT, continue to throw up idiotic, offensive insults that surely, the majority of Australians cannot tolerate any longer. His punishment? A one-day ban from his radio gig. Pathetic. As I sip the amber ale, drag the red and white scarf out of the cupboard and settle in for the match, my wife and I discuss which wondrous, nutritious and delectable vegetables we can plant in our new organic wonderland. As the charismatic Gary Rohan scorches the SCG turf and nails the first goal for the Swannies, the crowd roars and I immediately think of carrots! The Enemy have sprung out of the blocks with an impressive defensive mindset and Zac Tuohy provides all the starch of a sumptuous pink-eye spud. Mal fires through a long bomb from outside fifty, and we head to the huddle with a slender lead.
Sammy Reid is a lesson in patience for all Swans supporters. A lesson that must be applied to my new found enthusiasm for backyard farming. As the big no.20 contests the ruck, grabs the footy, runs through the centre of the SCG and drives home a major from beyond the arc, he reminds us all of the abundance of talent the former no.38 draft pick possesses. A moment later, he marks and goals from deep in the pocket and the Bloods seem to have finally opened up a gap. Not so. The Enemy are gritting their teeth as though gnawing into a juicy green-gage and cut the margin back to thirteen points. The match is tough on the inside and the spare man at the back for the men in navy, is proving a hindrance for the home side. As the young man Johnson kicks truly on the half-time siren, he is mobbed by team-mates and the margin is just seven points at half-time.
The third quarter provides a display from the Bloods which highlights the gulf in class between the two sides. Goodesy continues on his merry way, reminiscent of a fine vine-ripened tomato and McVeigh bursts through a stoppage to send a tracer bullet through the big sticks. Reidy takes another pack mark, converts again and Buddy has come to life. Jamison has played a strong first half, but the in-form player of the AFL kicks five for the quarter. The Swannies kick ten. A seven-point lead at half-time is now a seventy-point lead at three-quarter time. Joey Kennedy is headed for an all-time record of contested possessions and Pykey for hit-outs. This list has been five years in the making now, and the team are in red-hot form. The final quarter commences and Buddy kicks an outrageous goal and The Enemy look a beaten lot. I hope Juddy plays on. He has been far from the worst player tonight, and I think there is still plenty to like about a true great of our game. The suggestion of retiring him off was made during the week, and i for one, find that about as confusing as planting an asparagus plant! The term is evenly fought and the Swans prevail by seventy-one points.
I am told that harvesting from your very own backyard is fuelled by a want to get ?back to basics?. In the future, I hope to be creating my own tomato sugo, apple cider, fruit jams and home-made lemonade. But small steps must be taken first. The game plan of these Sydney Swans relies on a commitment to the basics. Contested ball, off the ball pressure and sticking tackles provide the ingredients to every Swans victory. Only when the basics are adhered to, can the attacking flair flourish and put opponents to the sword. A couple of beers down, and I have some grand plans for this green thumb life. I also know that after this long, hard day of physical exertion, the type of which, I have grown unaccustomed to, I too, will be taking very small steps tomorrow, literally.
Sydney 18.14 (122)
Carlton 7.9 (51)
Best:
Sydney: Kennedy, Franklin, Parker, McVeigh, Pyke, K.Jack, Reid.
Carlton: Murphy, Simpson, Gibbs, Curnow.
Goals:
Sydney: Franklin 6, Reid 4, Goodes 2, Parker 2, McVeigh, Malceski, Lloyd, Rohan
Carlton: Henderson 2, McLean, White, Bell, Johnson, Everitt
Umpires:
Rosebury, Harris, Mollison.
Crowd:
34,965 at SCG.
Votes:
3 ? Josh Kennedy (Sydney)
2 ? Buddy Franklin (Sydney)
1 ? Luke Parker (Sydney)
Nice work Joe...Am I detecting a little 'Chauncey Gardiner inspiration' in this piece ?
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect... MT
Yep. He likes to watch.Originally Posted by ernie koala
Nice work Joe. And remember to smell the (red and white) roses!
He reminds him of the guys, close-set, slow, and never rattled, who were play-makers on the team. (John Updike, seeing Josh Kennedy in a crystal ball)
Ha! I wasn't aware of Chauncy Gardiner, Ernie, but just googled him. I'll have to check out the movie.
Jewels, I will have the review of the Cats game, up at some stage tomorrow. Been a bit caught up in all this Eddie drama!Can I make a special request Joe? Could you possibly post your review of the Geelong game?
This has become my go-to program when there is nothing much else on Foxtel (which is happening more and more) and I must have watched it twenty times now and still sit and gaze in wonderment at it, so I'd love to read your take on it if it's not too much bother.
PS Your review of the North game is the only thing about that game that's brought a smile to my face!
Being there - an all time classic. I was a young man when I saw it at the movies but that's a long time ago. Reckon the Swans may have been on an all time losing streak it was so long ago.
AFL Round 11 - Sydney v Geelong: Jumping Through (around, over and under) The Hoops
For the past two weeks, I have revisited the bachelor lifestyle as my wife has been in the nation?s capital on a work assignment. My in-laws know all too well that my efforts to provide for myself have been questionable in the past, and so, offer a roast dinner which I simply cannot refuse. Tonight, the Swans play the Cats. My father-in-law is a proud Geelong man. In five years of knowing each other, and becoming good mates, we have never sat down and enjoyed a contest between our two great sides. This should be an interesting night...
The first match of indigenous round sees the Bloods wearing a guernsey which has been designed by Goodesy?s mum and I like it. For our three indigenous boys, Goodesy, Buddy and Jets, this round must take on some extra significance. We are blessed to have been afforded the opportunity to watch these three superstars grace our Sydney turf. The Enemy have been a great side. They have generally had the wood on us over the past six or seven winters, but I feel as though we?re a good show on this Thursday night. I have heard during the week that old ?Stevie J? feels as though the Swans are his bunnies. Like McGrath with Atherton, the mercurial midfielder believes he has our number.
The ball is bounced, and as quick as you can say ?Mal?s flat top? Tippo has the ball in the dukes about fifteen metres from goal and steadying for a set shot. He missed. However, it doesn?t take long before we are on the board. Shawry turns the ball over, sprints thirty metres to get it back, fires a handball to Buddy on the run through the corridor, who nails a fifty metre bullet to Tippo on the run. Poetry in bloody motion! Tippo nails his first and we?re away. Parksy does a brilliant impersonation of a human cannonball, crunching Varcoe on the cricket pitch. Goodesy?s looking sharp and snaps his first. By the time Tippo snaps another and Buddy gets his first from a free, we?ve bagged the first four of the match. My dinner guests are surprisingly quiet at quarter time as we take a twenty-five point lead into the first change.
As James Kelly?s name appears on my screen as The Enemy?s major ball winner, I am reminded of the offense I felt when he feigned falling asleep whilst singing the Cats? song after a win against us. Bored are we Jimmy? Hmmm... The second stanza starts with a BANG as Birdy continues his improvement and goes whack from forty. This roast is delicious. When Shawry sets up Tippo for the third time tonight, we have the first six! I am struggling to maintain my composure as the in-laws hope for a spirited fightback. Our handballs out of congestion are something to behold and catapulting us from defence into attack. We are quick. The Enemy are not. How times have changed.
I have a confession to make. Jimmy Bartel is one of my favourite players. I?ll tell you why. As a young man, owing my parents a hefty sum of cash after an overseas sojourn, I placed the largest wager of my life on him to win the Brownlow in 2007. Jimmy won, I paid off my debt and danced around the living room with uninhibited glee. My father in law laughed at my story. He is not laughing at the footy. Goodesy snaps another trademark goal, young Lloydy buries another, and we go into the main break with a forty-eight point lead and looking the Goodes. The Fox Footy panel seem flat. They have finally realised the powerful running unit that we are and they seem disappointed. I am not.
Andrew Mackie appears unusually quiet. A man who was full of advice when The Enemy were dominant, seems bereft of a voice at all. BAAAALLLLLLLL!!!! Benny wins a free in front of The Ladies Stand and we launch into yet another attack. Flashbacks of our previous beatings to this lot are making this performance even more enjoyable. I politely suggest that The Enemy are just ?off their game? in my attempt to keep the peace. We are relentless to night, and when big T Dex kicks two in a row, you know that it truly is our night. Three quarter time brings with a mammoth seventy-eight point lead.
The final quarter equals party-time at the SCG. The locals have turned out in force, are by now well lubricated and they are liking what they are seeing out on the ground. Hanners finishes another sweeping end to end move and we?ve cracked the ton! The Enemy have sixteen points and the SYYYYYYDNEEEEEYYYYY chant goes up. Kizza snaps a beauty and this win will put us up into the Top 3 teams of the competition. The boys are enjoying this. So am I. Tippo and Buddy combine for a goal that would make the strikers of Man Utd proud and this is a full-blown Red and White party as the lead stretches to ninety-nine....When Tippo smashes through his fifth, the hundred point lead is achieved! Happy days! Jets delivers a long bomb from outside fifty on the siren and the Swannies beat the Cats by a whopping one-hundred and ten points!!! The crowd bursts into song and I farewell my guests. A subdued politeness is immediately replaced by an irreplaceable joy as I come to the realisation that we are white hot!
Sydney 22.16 (148)
Geelong 5.8 (38)
Best:
Sydney: Bird, Tippett, Shaw, Franklin, Kennedy, Goodes, Malceski, Richards
Geelong: Hawkins, Bartel, Stokes, Horlin-Smith
Goals:
Sydney: Tippett 5, Franklin 4, Goodes 3, Jack, Derickx, Hannebery 2, Bird, Lloyd, McGlynn, Jetta
Geelong: Hawkins 3, Simpson, Johnson
Crowd:
37,355 at SCG
Umpires:
Fisher, Nicholls, Ryan
Votes:
3 ? Craig Bird
2 ? Rhyce Shaw
1 ? Kurt Tippett
Thoroughly enjoyable read. Thanks Joe.
Ah Joe that was a delight, you certainly have a way with words that gets the mind visualising all the action! Please tell me you are a writer or similar in your non-swans life?
Great read Joe. That was indeed an extraordinary game.
I wish I was Jewels! That is my aim one day in the future, to write for a living. At the moment I'm in my second last year of a Primary School teaching degree and working at Betfair as a sports analyst. I'm glad you liked the review.
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