Originally Posted by
Ludwig
That's a very sad story Stevo, and one I can empathize with.
During the time of Lance Franklin’s mental health problems, I disclosed that I had bipolar disorder and periods of depression, including severe depression 20 years ago. At that time, I went through a year when I could only think about suicide and the self-loathing for my inability to carry out the act. I was fortunate to have good friends who helped me get through the most difficult times.
With each occurrence of depression I turned over my life, leaving behind jobs, family and homes and sometimes countries as well. I restarted my life many times. These decisions to leave one life behind and start anew were influenced by the fact that my mother also suffered from mental illness and I grew up in home where her attempted suicides were an annual event. She made my father's life miserable, but he stuck by her nonetheless. After my father died, she went on to make my sister's life miserable. She lived to be 99 oddly enough. I never remember her being happy. I escaped from the circumstances of my life during these times of depression because I didn't want to hurt or bring more unhappiness to those closest to me. I call it self-banishment.
My ex-wife overdosed with sleeping pills during the last year of our marriage. She was in a coma for a week and barely pulled through. She's attempted suicide a number of times since, and I expect one day I will hear that she's succeeded. Her younger sister committed suicide on the first attempt, leaving behind a caring husband and 1 year old daughter.
Every depression has it's own particular circumstances. What I found odd was how I could go through most of my life making sound rational decisions, but when depression took over, I lost control of my thoughts and wanted to self-destruct. My depressions usually came at times when things were going generally well for me, but a compelling desire to destroy my life took over my mind. I was fully aware of it, but could do nothing to stop it. It's hard for those who have never had this experience to relate to how this can happen.
It's a bit of a joke with friends that have gone through some of this with me how I've always somehow managed to land back on my feet. I've been lucky that each manic emergence from depression was very positive for me (it's not for many bipolar sufferers) and gave me the energy and positivity to successfully restart my life.
Because I've been affected by mental illness is many ways, I've given a lot of thought over the years trying to identify the causes. From a personal standpoint, I came to understand my own particular case and managed to self-cure; I was able to stop SSRI anti-depressants in 2006 and have been free of these recurring bipolar episodes for 20 years. I wish my own personal pathway from depression could be available to others, but my solution is particular to myself and my own psychology and unlikely to be helpful to others. However, I believe I have developed some insights to why so many people have mental health issues these days.
There was an article on the ABC website titled ‘An astronomical rise in family violence and a legal system struggling to cope.’
We are confronted with a continual stream of news of racism and xenophobia emanating from places near and far. In the United States, we see this expressed by extreme violence against strangers who are perceived to be different from themselves by the perpetrators of these mass killing events. Closer to home, we have been reminded of the painful and destructive racism experienced by Adam Goodes.
What is the common thread that these have with the suicide of Danny Frawley? They all involve violence of some sort. In one case we have people striking out against those who are closest to them. In the case of racism and xenophobia, we have people striking out against those who are different and unrelated. In the case of Danny Frawley, we find a man who ended the turmoil in his mind by violence against himself.
What is rarely addressed is what the problem might be with our society that results in so much discontent that so many of us feel compelled to strike out against someone or something. We are told that through human ingenuity the world is ever progressing and life is improving. (A bit less of this going on in these times). We are presented in the media with many metrics that support this claim. But the metric that is missing is the one in our respective minds, often deeply suppressed, about how we view our own personal journey through life and how it measures up against the standards that are provided to us by those who control the metrics, the measurement system by which we are supposed to judge ourselves and others. Social media only exacerbates this dysfunction in society, providing more opportunities for comparison and confrontation.
We might recall that during the Lance Franklin episode how odd it seemd that someone who was one of the most successful and gifted people in Australia could have mental health issues. Anthony Bourdain's suicide seemed another particularly strange anomaly. And we can rightfully ask what these people had to be depressed about.
I believe we each have our own individual and very personal pathway to success and happiness. We live in a world where these parameters are defined for us from time of birth. One can be successful in the conventional meaning of the word, yet feel dreadfully unfulfilled in ways we are not even consciously aware of. This conflict can result in an unresolved disjunction in our psyche. In the more extreme cases, this can lead to hatred and violence toward others who we feel are the causative agents, or inwardly, where suicide marks the resolution of the disjunction.
Sadly, there are no easy solutions here. For many there seems to be no exit from this dilemma, as our social structure blocks all escape from the torment, even with the best of help from family, friends and professionals.
My own long and tumultuous navigation through mental health issues provides some hope that there can be a way through troubled waters, but it can be a long and difficult journey, with a lot of damage left in its wake.
Stevo, I send my best wishes and hope there is a way for your family to find some resolution that can ease the pain that you are going through.
And to Annie as well for sharing her experiences.
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