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All Davo Swans: an overview

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Sometimes it's important to stop what you're doing, take a moment to collect your thoughts and think "what would Davo do?". In this series, we'll apply that logic to team selection for the Swans; we'll look at the All Davo* Swans- a team made up of those players on the current Swans list that perform best in the IseeitbutIdontbelieveit rating: a rating obtained through the application of a scientific formula based on the criteria below.

Skills: It is a widely known fact that Davo was the most skilled football player of all time (in any code). Davo could kick 104 metres with either foot and could land the ball on a 50 cent piece from 65 metres away in the middle of a cyclone. During his dominance over the AFL, Davo hit more targets than a 19 year old Central Coast mother of 4 on welfare day.**

Footy IQ: Does the player know football? I mean, really know football? Really know football? Do they visualize the next disposal and make position? The one after that? The one after that? What about the one after that? Do they read the play so well that sometimes it leaves uneducated fans wondering what on earth they?re doing? Coaching staff too? That?s getting close to Davo, the man could read a play better than Geoffrey Rush.

Flair: If something?s worth doing, it?s worth doing pretty. Davo had an amazing ability to make even the simplest thing, like hacking a ball out of mid air from 40 metres out and sending it between the big sticks, look more dazzling and exciting than a night out with Captain Jack Harkness. It?s good to have skills, but it?s better if they?re silky. Flairy, too.

Oil: When Oscar Wilde said ?We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars? what he really meant was ?We are all in the outer, but some of us are looking at glistening oil?, and it?s the ones that are looking at glistening oil that know football. Davo knew how to get a bit of oil on himself, the cheeky bugger. He sure did. Man. I've come over all flushed. This is closely related to Guns (of course!).

Guns: The modern AFL footballer is a finely tuned, high performance machine with a body sculpted by thousands of hours of gym work and thousands, nay, millions of laps of footy grounds! Or they could just skip the laps and spend the time in the gym doing bicep curls in case a gun fight breaks out. Davo made sure those puppies were always fully loaded, of course it was entirely for the benefit of football (see Lady Luck).

Lady Luck: No, not the lady herself- this rating relates to what sort of luck the player has with the ladies. Davo was no slouch with the ladies, although it must be said that his initial success did not always translate to ongoing success (need a lift from the airport?). Rumour has it that, despite his cuddly bear nature, Mr Schmidt would have scored well here.

Teacher's Pet: Is the player adored by the coach? Is it because the player puts his head over the ball, or because he puts his head over the coach's lawnmower as he starts it up to tend to those palatial, landscaped lawns? This is a negatively weighted rating, of course, as Davo wasn?t always the apple of his coach?s eye; Davo doesn't mow anybody's lawn (although he may cut their grass, see Lady Luck).

Next up we'll announce the first members of the All Davo Swans.

* Obviously this is just from the perspective of a fan, Davo has nothing to do with this; it is just based on a joking guess and may be completely incorrect!
**Okay, sorry about that!

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Updated 23rd March 2010 at 12:31 PM by ScottH

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Sydney Swans


  1. ScottH's Avatar
    Why am I not surprised!!
  2. ugg's Avatar
    I didn't realise Richard Glover posted here.
  3. Lucky Knickers's Avatar
    I'm excited Stella. I've felt a bit lost since Davo "retired" and am eagerly awaiting the first members of the All Davo Swans to find suitable replacement worthy of my blind admiration.
  4. ROK Lobster's Avatar
    I think Stell has summed up the moment perfectly. It's time for All Davo Swans
  5. ScottH's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by ugg
    I didn't realise Richard Glover posted here.
    I give up, please explain.
  6. AnnieH's Avatar
    Stell. Stell. Stell.

    He's gone.
  7. ShockOfHair's Avatar
    Mick Malthouse fondly remembers Davo too. He keeps a photo of the 2002 Pies on the wall - "a great reminder to me of what can be achieved by people who are dedicated, who are selfless, who've got nothing but [the team] in their mind."
  8. Lucky Knickers's Avatar
    Sometimes it's important to stop what you're doing, take a moment to collect your thoughts and think "what would Davo do?"
    Surely One Mr D Bradshaw needs a mention.

    Skills: Leading TICK Marking TICK Tackling TICK

    Footy IQ: Didn't want to go to Carlton TICK Wanted to come to Swans TICK TICK

    Flair: I had to google Jack Harkness but I am going to TICK this as the way he launched that Torp was silky and full of flair

    Oil: TICK

    Guns: Left Gun TICK Right Gun TICK

    Lady Luck: She was giving Bradshaw her biggest brightest smile when that mark got paid

    Teacher's Pet: Is the player adored by the coach? TICK

    Faced with a kick outside 50 post the siren in a tight contest: What would Davo do? I think we all know the answer to that
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